The Carnival 8/Nov/02
The Carnival with Bruce MacAvaney and Robert Hulls.

HG will call the Dump Lotto race later and is a bit loose at the backdoor because he's nervous. Winners of the Dump Cup will win a hamper containing paints, horse glue and horse pate.

Henry the horse is doing dumplotto. Comes on and does a shit straight away.

Roy not only hates foreign horses but hates foreign jockeys aswell. What annoyed him the most was when an Italian jockey did a little kick of glee when he recieved an award.

Roy is forming a committee with Steve Vizard, Gay and Gene Simmons and a few others on ways to improve the Melboure Cup. One idea Roy has is to bring in the 'Juggling Horse of Greece'. Roy says the jockeys don't juggle that horses, that would be stupid. Instead its the horses that do the juggling. HG is impressed and would love to see it.

Horse Mysteries
The horse Light Fingers, every day at 12:00 would start digging at the same spot every day. The trainer went to see what the horse was digging up and found a gold watch. A trainer had died in that same spot one hundred years earlier and his gold watch had never been found. Light fingers had found it. The gold watch was still keeping perfect time. That year Light Fingers won the Melbourne cup and the watch stopped exactly at the time when he won.

Bruce MacAvaney
Gets really nervous before calling a big race and cannot sleep the night before. Might not call another Melbourne Cup because he was so nervous. Reckons that channel 9 and 10 haven't done too bad a job with the AFL.

Robert Hulls
Victorian racing minister. HG says people tend to take Monday and Tuesday off during racing week then for the rest of the week do bugger all. HG reckons it should be a week holiday instead of just one day. Robert Hulls was critical of the Crown Casino tendering process many years ago. Now Hulls never gets invited to the Crown Casino marquee at the races and thinks its because they have long memories.

Dump Cup is run and HG calls the race

A horse chiropractor discusses his work. Has to feel all over the horse to find out where the horse is sore because the horse cannot say where the pain is. Reckons that you only have to be a horseman to work with horses. Roy agrees and reckons you shouldn't work with horses if you hate them.

Band The Androids