The Dream 18/Aug/04
The Dream with Rachael Sporn, Sandy Bordello and David Zalcberg.




The remains of the fat arsed wombat that was dug up a few days ago is on set. Roy didnt want to talk the food down at the Atlanta Olympics but it was rubbish. He has some Greek food on the table and says its just as good coming in as it is coming out.

Thorpedo has only received two marriage proposals after winning gold. With 11 million woman in Australia Roy and HG were surprised it was so low and wonder whats wrong with Australia.

Some Greek fans are getting a bit out of control and not behaving. Would be great if Kevin Gosper could be involved in crowd control and stand facing the crowd pointing at misbehaving people and saying 'You over there, no not him, you you're too loud you'll have to leave.'


An official reads out a truce sort of like they did 2200 years ago when the Greeks stopped fighting eachother just during the Olympics. Roy and HG would like to see a truce held now, with peace enforced with all guns being banned. To enforce this Roy suggests creating an IOC army that has rigourous enforcement of peace and they it do it with guns.

Rachael Sporn and Sandy Bordello

Two Australian basketballers. One girl was at the acropolis with a shovel but wasn't allowed to dig for treasure and was disappointed. For Sandys first game she broke her nose and had to get it recast. Other than that she still says that playing is a joy and would like to play till she's 40.


There are two Australian rowers where one of the rowers rows from the back and talks about his experince gazing at the back of his teammates head. After many years behind him, in the car or wherever, he still sees intriguing nuances on the back of his teammates head. He reckons you can tell a lot about a bloke by looking at the back of his head.


One of the Chinese lifters has a metrosexual look. Hes the package with the strongest back muscles and the hair. As he lifts you can hear the bozuki playing and its music that is guiding his destiny and he wins the gold.

David Zalcberg

Australian table tennis player. He says that money isn't a problem for him with some top table tennis players earning over a million dollars. Roy should have kept going with it. Despite breaking his lucky racket during a match he kept using it because he didn't want to freak his team mate out. Says it didn't effect his game. When making a table tennis bat he puts a rubber over his wood and find that its a bit of a personal thing.


Roy and HG commentate the shotput. Its in Olympia and was excevated by an archologist many years ago. Shots of the excevated stadium show he must have been a prolific digger. The shotputting is just as it was thousands of years ago except that everyone back then would have been nude. Roy loves seeing the shot hitting the ancient dust. Its a lot better than the shot hitting the modern cooch grass or papsalem.

An emailer has the idea of having an aussie Olympic team that is so huge that it creates a single loop in the opening ceromony and no other team can get in and Australia would be the only team competing.


Out of the Commonwealth countries Australia is well ahead with 6 gold compared to the next best country South Africa with just one.