The Dream 26/Aug/04
The Dream with Ryan Bailey, Biran Loyd and Brendon Kingman.

Today is the day of Thespus, the man who invented theatre. People love the accoustics of the ancient Greek theatres and the accoustics are said to be so good that you can hear a pin drop. Roy reckons you'd need a bloody big pin. The plays were about death, war, love, the gods and how fickle they could be.

Some Norwegian journalists were sledging an Australian rower Nathan Bagelly (who was on the show). The journalists asked questions like"You're not as good as our cyclist Eric Larson (Norways best cyclist) are you? It mustn't be very good for your self esteem." And also asked him something about his personal habits like how often he wipes. Roy reckons as wipers go Nathan was a great wiper. Eric Larson has been seen with a big stain on the back of his shorts so the Norwegians dont know what they're on about.

Hammer thrower doesnt pass a urine sample test. Not long before the thrower was caught Roy saw him to say hello and the hammer thrower asked Roy to wee in a jar for him. Roy thought it was some cultural exchange and obliged expecting to get a jar of urine in return but it never came. The urine didn't pass the test and the hammer thrower was thrown out of the games. Roy doesnt know how it happened though he does hang around cyclist who say stuff to Roy like 'Hey Roy try this' and Roy says 'Ok'.

The athletes aren't getting a ticker tape parade despite breaking lots of records. The Australian Olympic committee receives billions from the government and Roy doesn't know where all the money goes but is sure its spent properly and probably can't afford the parade. HG asks Roy if he received a ticker tape parade after returning to Lithgow after winning medals. Roy says he got a lot of rubbish thrown at him and it made him feel like an Olympian.

New Zealand won a silver and gold in the same event and HG will eat a block of New Zealand Gouda cheese throughout the show in honour of there achievement.

Roy and HG commentate the dressage. In dressage the riders hands arent used at all. Its all in the bottom and the sphincter. If the rider shifts his sphincter slightly to the left the horse will move aswell . You know you're seeing a really good ride when you dont even notice the rider and just see the horse. The horse is dribbling a bit but HG is greatful that he's not seeing steaming turds pop out instead. A horse, a few years ago, while going past the judges let out some steaming turds in a final kiss off, sort of mafia style. The ride is a good one with great sphincter work by both the rider and the horse. Great sphincter to sphincter and backdoor to backdoor work.

Ryan Bailey

An Australian Olympic cyclist who won two gold medals. He drinks tonnes of coke and only eats junk food. He's tried eating normal food but made him sick and he couldn't train. He sometimes has to wait after a race for 7 hours to wee for drug testing even when hes got a race the next day which can effect his training. Has had to do this 5 times since the Olympics. He finds competing with anger is helpful and finds listening to murder, kill, death music helps. He beat someone he hated and after he beating him they're now best of mates.

Roy and HG commentate the weight lifting. This lifter only lifts the weight to his knees and his coach still looks happy.

This lifter has trouble with the stairs. He doesn't make the lift and gives the weight a 'you bastard' look.

This guy gives his lips a bit of a lick and blow.

The Iranian lifter breaks the world record.

Biran Loyd and Brendon Kingman

Two Australian baseball players who won silver. They were beaten by Cuba. During the match Cuban clearly catches the ball off the wall which should have counted as a dropped catch. The Australian coached complained but was sent out of the game. Because of the bad catching decision and losing their coach it could have contributed to Australia not winning the match.

Some Olympic mishaps.

A former Yugoslavian Olympic Greco Roman wrestler emails in and says he has never seen so much Greco Roman wrestling since watching the dream. He'd like to see it on every Friday night for 2 hours uninterputed.