The Dream 29/Aug/04
The Dream with Ian Thorpe, John Steffensen, Clinton Hill and Mark Ormond

This is the last Dream for four years. The top HG is wearing is a mixture of the opening and closing ceremony shirts. The closing ceremony is on tonight and part of the ceromony includes spectators wearing a mask 'Eyes Wide Shut' style. Then they will then be asked to dance. Roy wonders what sort of dancing it will be and thinks 'dancing' is code for something lewd. HG asks what Beijing can learn from the Athens games and Roy thinks forcing people to go to events is the most important thing Beijing can learn. If people wont pay to come then they need to be payed them to come. If that doesn't work give then use the theat of jail. Use a carrot and stick approach.

China is holding a competition for there Olympic mascot design. The judging panel includes a Norwegian and Kevin Gosper and another big name. The big three. The Chinese want a commercial design unlike the Greek mascots which only appealed to sick adults.

Theres a chilling warning about there being too many fat kids. Roy suggests making sport truely compulsory and if you see a fat kid, kick him in the date. With so many fat kids around it might be older people that are the future of the Olympics. Roy and HG might take up the double skulls in Beijing in four years.

To raise money for the ticker tape parade for the Australian athletes, Roy and HG are selling a John Coates stick pin. They're selling like hotcakes.

Some Australian tin medalists.

Athena and Fevos

Roy and HG commentate the mens gymnastics. Here a gymnast is doing an inverted 'hello boys' with the legs closed. The judge gets an eye full.

Does a few chicko roles.

This gynmist is a bit of a mystery man. Starts his routine with the 'battered sav', then the 'spinning date'. He does the 'hello boys' but is pointing towards the camera instead of the judge who will probably take a few marks off. At the end of the routine he presents himself to the judge. HG likes the routine he's shown a bit of sauce with the sav.

Ian Thorpe

Australian multiple gold medal winning swimmer. Hacket has said that between now and Beijing he'll probably do about 15000km of swimming as part of his training. Ian Thorpe says he'll probably do the same. Thorpie has a bit of an empire with softdrink and underpants. Roy wonders if Thorpie uses the products he endorses and wonders if Ian is wearing the Thorpedo underpants. Thorpie says yes and HG says he doesn't have to show us because we've seen him in his undies plenty of times before in magazine ads. Roy asks if Thorpie has tried any of the Thorpedo drinks that are coming out and he says yes, he's tried everything at every step of the development process. Roy and HG have proposed the name 'The Lion of Athens sports water' for Ians soft drink after Roy and HG named Thorpie the 'Lion of Athens'. Thorpie isn't too sure about the name and might leave it up to the experts. Thorpie say he's very happy with his current coach.

Bottom touching seem to be part of the Athens Olympics.

Roy and HG commentate the synchronised swimming. The CD the girls are swimming to stops while they're swimming and they have to start again. The officials talk together seriously. The girls start there swim again and swim to the song 'Song sung Blue' by Neil Diamond. The girls have a big smile of there faces so Roy thinks they're not swimming to the true meaning of the song and are ignoring the lyrics. It has lyrics like 'crying on my pillow' and other sad lyrics. Then Roy realises that its possible that the girls have a different angle on the song and there interpretation of the song is that to combat the blues you should have a swim and a grin. A counterpoint to the melody and the lyric. Under water the song is pumped out loudly so that the girls can hear the song. Water travels at different speeds underwater so the officials accomodate for this to help the girls not swim out of time with the music.

John Steffensen, Clinton hill and Mark Ormond

Australian 4x400 m relay silver medalists. Australia hasn't won a medal in this event since 1956. Back then Lord Kevin Gosper was in the event. None of the medalists have been sent a congratulations by him. They dont train passing the baton because the only way to simulate passing the baton is when you're doing the actual race and your body is tired. Because its such a grueling event the body can only handle doing the event only occasionally. Roy asks what they'd want from sponsors now that they've had success. One guy would like some hair care products and the others aren't too sure. Roy wonders whats needed to attract kids to atheletics. One of them suggests being insane, lacking in intelligence and not wanting to work for a living.

An emailer suggests having an Olympic event where the person who can wee in a bottle fastest wins. With so much drug testing would be a great event.

Roy and HG say goodbye.

Shots of the people behind the scenes who made The Dream possible.